All Out with Jon Dean Bottom Power: The Psychology of Men in Submission
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Mar 4, 2026 Dhiren Doshi-Smith, a psychosexual therapist focused on queer mental health, breaks down shame, masculinity and the psychology around submission. He explores power dynamics, cultural and generational barriers, cleanliness myths, and practical mind–body techniques. Conversations cover vulnerability, consent, sexual fluidity, aftercare and how bottoms can hold agency and reshape sexual norms.
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Submission Can Be A Position Of Power
- Submissive sexual roles can be powerful because the submissive controls consent and can withdraw it at any time.
- Dhiren argues cultural perception misreads submissives as powerless despite their control over boundaries.
Top Bottom Stereotypes Are Body Image And Racially Charged
- Community stereotypes cast tops as muscular 'daddies' and bottoms as twinkish submissives, with racialized projections (e.g., Black men forced into alpha roles).
- Dhiren links media and porn to reinforcing these body-image and racial role expectations.
Learn Your Body First Through Solo Exploration
- Practice psychosexual techniques: map pleasure zones, self-finger, use dildos and lots of lube, and build to penetration gradually.
- Dhiren recommends solo exploration first to learn relaxation and what feels good before partner play.