Negotiate Anything Why Being Assertive Feels Risky — and Why You Need It Anyway
Feb 10, 2026
Emilie Aries, Founder and CEO of Bossed Up, helps women and marginalized communities advance at work. She contrasts assertive versus aggressive behavior. She explores bias that labels women aggressive and offers tactical ways to lead with intent. She explains mindset shifts, preparing to speak up, and surprising benefits like reduced anxiety and greater self-respect.
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Assertiveness Vs. Aggression Defined
- Assertiveness respects both your rights and others' rights at the same time.
- Aggression pursues your needs without regard for others and often looks one-way.
The Double Bind For Women Leaders
- Research shows an inverse likability-assertiveness link for women across contexts.
- Women face a double bind where leadership traits can reduce perceived likability.
Lead With Intent Before The Ask
- Lead with intent and context before making an assertive ask to disarm bias.
- Explain why you're asking first so listeners don't panic and misinterpret your message.
