When Missionaries Get Angry (and What to Do About It) with Erik Troyer

Jun 26, 2025

Counselor Erik Troyer, who specializes in reframing anger as a pathway to spiritual growth, explores the emotional challenges missionaries face. He discusses how anger is a normal reaction that shouldn’t be met with guilt or shame. Erik emphasizes the importance of recognizing underlying emotions like fear and unmet expectations. He offers practical tools for processing anger and highlights the difference between righteous anger and resentment. This candid conversation encourages missionaries to embrace their feelings and seek support within their community.

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INSIGHT

Righteous Anger Can Be Redemptive

Righteous anger aligns with God's heart over injustice and can propel compassionate action.
Partnering that anger with God avoids revenge and channels it toward restorative work.

ADVICE

Name It And Get Curious

Admit and name your anger to a safe person instead of containing it alone.
Use curiosity to explore what drives your anger by listing issues and asking 'what's that about?'.

ADVICE

Ask Two Questions When Anger Surfaces

Ask two clarifying questions when anger rises: 'What is the perceived injustice?' and 'What am I afraid of?'.
Reframe practical fears (loss of control, time) to reduce the emotional intensity before responding.

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Have you ever felt angry on the mission field—and then guilty for it? You’re not alone. From cultural clashes to team tension to the things that just shouldn’t be, anger surfaces—and it often comes with a side of shame.

In this deeply honest conversation, counselor Erik Troyer helps us reframe our understanding of anger, not as something to suppress, but as an invitation to draw nearer to God. Whether your anger is loud or silent, clear or confusing, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a path forward.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

Why anger is normal—even for missionaries—and how to stop shaming yourself for feeling it
How to recognize what’s under the surface of your anger, like fear, unmet expectations, or pain
What to do when you’ve already blown up—or shut down—in unhealthy ways
How to create safe space for others’ anger as a leader, parent, or teammate
The difference between righteous anger and resentment—and how to tell which one you're dealing with

Questions to Ponder as You Listen:

What’s my typical response to anger—exploding, hiding, or something else?
What am I really afraid of in the moments I feel most angry?
Do I believe it’s safe to share my anger with God—or with someone else?
Where do I need to ask for forgiveness—from God, from others, or from myself?
What kind of support do I need to process the things that are still simmering beneath the surface?

Hey missionaries—how are your finances on the field? At Modern Day Missions, we make it simple for missionaries to receive donations and for donors to give. Serving 1,100+ missionaries worldwide, we free you to focus on your calling. We also offer resources like our weekly podcast, fundraising coaching, and a resource-packed newsletter. Connect with us at modernday.org

Thanks for listening! Email us your questions at care@modernday.org

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