Abusive Relationships: Nothing Will Change Until You Change It

— Shannon has been a lifelong sailor, and dense fog is one of the most terrifying and mystifying things sha has ever experienced. It can settle in so gradually that you are not even aware your vision is being obscured, or descend on you so quickly that the sudden complete bleakness is paralyzing. It's just water vapor after all, what could possibly be so serious about that? But when this happens to you out on the ocean; when the reality hits that you are completely immersed in dense fog, the panic is real. Your head pounds, your heart races, your thoughts spin, and you frantically try to grab onto something of substance. But there is nothing, in all directions, but this thick, dense water vapor; nothing but fog. You can't move for fear of running into something, and even staying still is not safe. This frozen state doesn't help you get out of the fog, but feels like your only option. So you sit and wait for the fog to lift.

In the fog of a hurtful relationship, this feeling of paralysis, anxiety, depression, confusion, disorientation, not knowing who you are, or how you got to this dark place in your life, is also real. The Fear, Obligation, and Guilt crept into your relationship so stealthily that you didn't notice it; the games, the pressures, the gaslighting, the bits of anger, the confusion, the disorientation, all of it was just a bit of water vapor that was easily dismissed. Abusive relationships are not an act of nature like ocean fog; they are the result of intentional tactics of manipulation, and control. In the early stages it is hard to see this for what it is. Unfortunately, the fog of an abusive relationship is not going to just lift; nothing will change until you change it. So how do you find your bearings, push past this paralysis, clear away your vision, begin to heal the trauma, and rebuild your life?

Valeria interviews Shannon Petrovich — the author of "Out of the FOG, Into the CLEAR : Journaling to Help You Heal from Toxic Relationships"

Shannon earned her Bachelor's degree from Bowdoin College, and her Master's in Social Work from the University of Connecticut. She earned her clinical licenses in Social Work and Substance Abuse Counseling, and is a Board Certified Diplomate in Clinical Social Work.

Her new book, Out of the FOG Into the CLEAR, Journaling to Help You Heal from Toxic Relationships has attained Amazon Bestseller status in Self Help for Abuse, Codependency, and Personal Transformation.

On her YouTube channel Therapist Talks, she shares insights, information, perspectives, and strategies on a wide range of relationship and mental health topics.

With a very trauma-informed, strengths-based approach, she seeks to help people see the old stories that are in their way, and to fully become the person they were created to be.

To learn more about Shannon Petrovich and her work, please visit: nofoggydays.com

— This podcast is a quest for well-being, a quest for a meaningful life through the exploration of fundamental truths, enlightening ideas, insights on physical, mental, and spiritual health. The inspiration is Love. The aspiration is to awaken new ways of thinking that can lead us to a new way of being, being well.