Clear+Vivid with Alan Alda

Shermin Kruse: When empathy becomes a strategy

Mar 17, 2026
Shermin Kruse, a law professor and author with roots in neuropsychology and philosophy, shares stories shaped by growing up in Iran. She explores stoic empathy, distinguishing cognitive and emotional empathy. She reveals tactics like silence, affect labeling, accusation positioning, and practices to build calm under threat. The conversation mixes personal anecdotes with practical exercises.
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ANECDOTE

Mother Calmed Morality Police With Empathy

  • Shermin Kruse recounts being nine in Tehran when a morality police officer confronted her and her mother in a bazaar.
  • Her mother used affect labeling, silence, and accusation positioning to calm the armed officer and let them go.
INSIGHT

Empathy Is A Cognitive–Emotional Spectrum

  • Shermin distinguishes cognitive empathy (understanding someone) from emotional empathy (feeling their pain) and presents them as a spectrum.
  • Effective responses require placing yourself along that spectrum depending on the person and situation, not defaulting to one kind.
ADVICE

Label Emotions Then Pause To Get Information

  • Use affect labeling, then a beat of silence to gather information and calm someone with high emotion.
  • Label feelings nonjudgmentally, pause to let the person respond, and use the new information to shape your next move.
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