I Have ADHD Podcast 393 BITESIZE | PDA in Adults: Why You Resist Even Your Own Plans
Apr 9, 2026
A concise look at pathological demand avoidance in adults and how family experiences can reveal it later in life. Discussion of nervous-system framing that reframes resistance as regulation. Exploration of why self-made plans feel threatening and how perceived loss of autonomy triggers retraction. Practical accommodations like body-doubling, sensory strategies, and calendar hacks to create safety and scheduling windows.
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Desperate Parenting Led To PDA Discovery
- Unknown Guest (personal story) discovered PDA after severe parenting struggles with a child who couldn't be soothed and became physically aggressive.
- She created extreme accommodations like a laundry-basket nest and constant holding because her four-month-old would only nap with her body present.
Nervous System Lens Made PDA Click
- Finding PDA framed through a nervous-system lens created relief and validation for Unknown Guest (personal story) and helped her see patterns in her family.
- The five PDA characteristics clicked and revealed that not only her child but also herself and other children fit the pattern.
Self Imposed Plans Can Feel Like Demands
- Resistance to scheduling often stems from perceiving self-imposed plans as external demands that threaten autonomy.
- This is distinct from core ADHD executive function issues and explains why people resist even their own values-based plans.