Co-Sleeping, Sleep Training, and the Conversation We Need to Have About Infant Sleep

Infant sleep has become one of the most polarizing topics in modern parenting. In this thoughtful and nuanced conversation, I sit down with sleep consultant and family therapist Chrissy Lawler to unpack co-sleeping, sleep training, safety data, and the emotional charge surrounding these decisions. As a pediatrician, I was trained to follow AAP safe sleep guidelines, but real-world parenting, cultural practices, and honest conversations with families have pushed me to approach this topic with more openness and clarity.

We discuss what the data actually shows, where the gaps exist, and why shame and fear-based messaging don’t help families make safer decisions. Whether you co-sleep, sleep train, or are still figuring it out, this episode focuses on evidence, harm reduction, attachment, parental well-being, and finding what works for your unique family system.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why co-sleeping is so controversial, especially coming from a pediatrician

• AAP guidelines vs cultural sleep practices around the world

• The dangers of polarized, shame-based sleep messaging

• Harm reduction principles for families who choose to co-sleep

• Risk factors that increase sleep-related infant deaths

• What the data does and does not tell us about co-sleeping safety

• The “Safe Sleep Seven” and its limitations

• Sleep training myths, cortisol concerns, and attachment

• Why parental sleep and mental health matter just as much as baby sleep

• The impact of sleep deprivation on relationships and long-term family dynamics

• How to filter social media noise and make evidence-based decisions

• Foundational newborn sleep strategies to reduce desperation and unsafe practices

• The role of resilience, stress tolerance, and “good enough” parenting

To connect with Chrissy Lawler follow her on Instagram @the.peaceful.sleeper, check out all her resources at https://www.thepeacefulsleeper.com/ and buy her book “The Peaceful Sleeper: An Intuitive Approach to Baby Sleep”: https://www.thepeacefulsleeper.com/book 

00:00 – Intro

01:15 – A Pediatrician’s Experience With Unsafe Sleep

02:07 – Why Parents Secretly Bedshare

02:54 – Introducing Chrissy Lawler and Her Work

05:04 – Why Safe Sleep Messaging Often Misses Real Life

07:03 – The Cultural Differences Around Infant Sleep

11:03 – Why Parents Feel Pressure Around Sleep Training

16:04 – What Actually Makes Co-Sleeping Dangerous

20:01 – Harm Reduction: If Families Choose to Bedshare

28:00 – Sleep Training Myths and Misunderstandings

38:00 – The Emotional Side of Infant Sleep Decisions

39:01 – How Shame Impacts Honest Conversations With Pediatricians

45:01 – Practical Ways to Make Infant Sleep Safer

48:02 – The Bigger Takeaway: Safety, Support, and Informed Choices

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