Smart Girl Dumb Questions Why Do Relationships Fail? with a Million Dollar Divorce Attorney
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Feb 10, 2026 
James Sexton, a veteran NYC divorce attorney and author who has handled thousands of family law cases. He talks about why marriage exists and whether it kills romance. They explore prenups, redesigning marriage with premarital guardrails, rituals and maintenance, and what makes someone good at breaking up or staying together.
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Slow Erosion, Sudden Collapse
- People fall in love quickly and fall out slowly until it all collapses suddenly.
- Sexton likens falling out of love to bankruptcy: gradual erosion followed by abrupt failure.
A $3M Divorce Legal Bill
- Sexton recalls a case where counsel fees totaled roughly $3 million over three years.
- He uses the story to show how divorce costs scale with wealth and complexity.
Use A Tech Framework To Rethink Marriage
- Treat marriage as a 'technology' with design questions: problem, users, solutions, side effects.
- Sexton borrows media-ecology frameworks to analyze marriage's functions and created problems.
