#254 Men and Porn: Breaking Shame, Building Awareness (with Elle Thielke)

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Elle Thielke. Elle is a Melbourne-based sexologist and former sex worker with a passion for men’s health and wellbeing. Drawing on her lived experience in the industry, Elle brings a unique and deeply informed perspective to conversations around masculinity, porn, and authentic sexual expression. Together, we explore the barriers that prevent men from being open about their desires, the impact of shame and gendered socialisation, and how to reframe common narratives around porn “addiction.” Elle also shares insights on ethical and embodied porn consumption, the importance of media literacy, and the urgent need for comprehensive, sex-positive education that reflects real-world experiences.

Key Points: Introductions and backgrounds

Elle Thielke introduces herself as a sexologist from Melbourne with a background as a former worker. She is passionate about men's health and wellbeing, and has gained deep insights from her experiences working in the industry. Cam Fraser shares his own personal journey and interest in masculinity and function, noting the lack of support many men feel comfortable seeking.

Barriers to authenticity for men

Elle and Cam discuss the significant barriers men face in being authentic about their , stemming from societal expectations and stigma around masculinity and expression. They explore how gendered socialization, shame, and rigid notions of what it means to be a "real man" create major obstacles for men to explore and understand their .

Practical tips for ethical, embodied consumption

Cam shares his approach of encouraging clients to engage with in a more intentional, embodied way - maximizing the content, minimizing distractions, and tuning into physical sensations. Elle reinforces the importance of media literacy and understanding the production realities behind pornographic content.

Reframing " addiction" and compulsive behaviors

Elle and Cam unpack the complex and often misunderstood concepts of " addiction" and compulsive behaviors. They highlight how the language and framing around these issues can be problematic, and emphasize the need for a more nuanced, individualized understanding of people's relationships with and .

The need for comprehensive education

Elle emphasizes the critical need for comprehensive, -positive education that is developed and delivered by those with direct experience and expertise in . She highlights how current approaches often fail to address the nuanced messages and implications of media and , leaving many people with unrealistic or unhealthy understandings.

Relevant Links

Website: www.elletsexology.com

Instagram: @inthenaughtycorner