It's true. I got the plague + boy it kicked my ass - but the surprising part was NOT the ass kicking. It was the shame. I felt so much shame. Why? I did everything "right" and it didn't matter. Notice the quotes. This shit is a nightmare - there's no moral highground (unless you're deliberating being irresponsible, of course) here as long as you're trying.

The shame came from the fact that I didn't want to let anyone down. I hate the idea that I could have a negative effect on anyone else's experience.

All this to say - doing the right thing won't always feel good. It sometimes will be very difficult + personally challenging to do the "right thing" at the right time.

But you got this. It'll feel better once you do.

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515 || i'm embarrassed to admit this but...