The Modern Therapist's Survival Guide with Curt Widhalm and Katie Vernoy Why Men Don’t Stay in Therapy
Why Men Don’t Stay in Therapy
Curt and Katie chat about men’s mental health. We look at why men typically go to therapy, their experiences while in therapy, what therapists get wrong when working with men, and how therapists better support the needs of men seeking mental health treatment.
Transcripts for this episode will be available at mtsgpodcast.com!
In this podcast episode we talk about men seeking therapy
For Men’s Health Awareness month, we want to explore men seeking mental health services.
Why do men typically go to therapy?
- Others telling men to go to therapy
- Career or relationship issues
- Depression, which looks like irritability and hostility (externalized behaviors)
What is the experience of men in therapy?
“Some of this research [on men accessing mental healthcare] shows that while men are increasing in the numbers presenting for mental health treatment, they tend to drop out earlier than women and they tend to drop out at a lot faster rate than women. So that to me says that we as a field are doing something wrong, that we are not able to meet the needs of men. All of that great advice out of ‘hey, go and seek mental health treatment,’ is falling on people who are trying it out and finding bad experiences with it. “– Curt Widhalm, LMFT
- Therapy seems to try to get men to emote like women
- Invalidating masculine presentations and behaviors
- Equating masculinity with toxic masculinity
- Not feeling safe to express emotions beyond confidence, neutrality, or anger
How can therapists better serve men seeking therapy?
- Understanding and honoring a range of masculinities (even within the same client)
- Helping men to broaden their range of emotional expression
- Problem-solving, solution-focused can be helpful for men who want to have a clearly defined goal to work toward
- Collaboratively creating treatment goals
- Identity work that supports self-definition of masculinity
What can therapists get wrong when working with men in therapy?
“There is such a broad array of understandings at this point of what masculinity and what ‘real men do’ that I think we need to be aware that whether it's traditional gender roles, or more current… there's some need for an understanding of where your client sits.” – Katie Vernoy, LMFT
- Framing masculinity and toxic masculinity solely as “bad”
- Not digging more deeply into individual development around masculinity
- Taking offense at their client’s gender identity or ignoring their own bias around “traditional gender roles”
- How therapists characterize men’s presenting problems (assigning blame, like depression being seen as anger or hostility, men being described as violent rather than traumatized)
Resources for Modern Therapists mentioned in this Podcast Episode:
We’ve pulled together resources mentioned in this episode and put together some handy-dandy links. Please note that some of the links below may be affiliate links, so if you purchase after clicking below, we may get a little bit of cash in our pockets. We thank you in advance!
Men’s mental health: Spaces and places that work for men
Why it’s time to focus on masculinity in mental health training and clinical practice
Consultation services with Curt Widhalm or Katie Vernoy:
Connect with the Modern Therapist Community:
Our Facebook Group – The Modern Therapists Group
Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide Creative Credits:
Voice Over by DW McCann https://www.facebook.com/McCannDW/
Music by Crystal Grooms Mangano https://groomsymusic.com/