Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo 1896 When Your Child Is Against You
It might be suggesting a way to handle a situation, or how to clean their room. No matter what you say, you are wrong and they are right!
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Pointing fingers, as to who carries the "right" torch, does not make either party (parent or child) superior to the other.
Yes! The parent has the say so. But if the child is not compliant, where is that going to get you?
It's a vicious cycle. You want to be right and your child wants to right.
But what would happen if you changed your approach? What if you gave them the upper hand without them knowing you really are the one who has the upper hand?
Reverse psychology sounds great. So let's do the opposite. But what does it look like in the real world with technological advancements to work against the goal?
And then you have the children talking with their friends at school or on social media. You can't keep up with the ever-changing influences. At one point you got 'em. And at another point, they are ahead of the game.
You do not want to play games with your children. You need to establish boundaries as to what you expect especially when your child is against you.
So the question remains, how are you going to do this?
You have to build up before you tear down.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Build up before you tear down!Parents do one thing wrong all the time. We jump to conclusions proclaiming that what is happening is wrong before even gaining an understanding of the situation or listening to the child's perspective.
We just jump!
Why?
Have you ever asked yourself why your impulse is to blame your child? Why do you assume that your child is in the wrong?
Parents want control. However, how we exercise that control is the key to growing our relationship and earning the trust in our children that we do know best.
How do you balance love, control, and being right?
- Set intentional boundaries. This gives you and the child the scope of the relationship, the stages of life and the growth pattern.
- Flip the script. You want them to come up with the answers to their dilemmas. If you have younger children, you can give them options and make it obvious what the right choice is. Therefore, you can celebrate what they already knew. (wink, wink) You are instilling confidence. If you have older children, you can lead them by asking questions.
- Let 'em win! You already know you are right. You don't need to have that extra satisfaction that you know what you're talking about. You just know. So let them feel the exhilaration. This puts the head and heart together. This feeling is desirable. So they'll what it again.
And as always, never parent without laughter!
You have a tough job that is so worth the tears, frustration, love, and laughter.
When your child is against you, it's not the end of the world. You just have to change your outlook and perspective. You got this!
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"
#ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent
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Read more from Kristianne, a contributor to The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Thrive Global, Addicted2Succes, and She Owns It.
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https://sheownsit.com/when-failure-is-your-middle-name/
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
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Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) 9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.