What to do when your kid says I hate you with Tania and Tammy, Episode #169

In this episode, Tammy Schamuhn and Tania Johnson tackle one of the most painful moments in parenting: when your child looks at you and says, “I hate you.”

Those words can sting, shock, and even shake your confidence as a parent. But Tammy and Tania explain why this moment is far less about hatred — and far more about big feelings, overwhelmed nervous systems, and developing brains that don’t yet have the skills to say what they truly mean.

You’ll learn what’s actually happening beneath those words, why kids often say this to the people they feel safest with, and how your response in that moment can either escalate the situation or help your child return to regulation.

In this conversation, we cover:

• why “I hate you” is often a sign of emotional overload, not disrespect

• how brain development limits kids’ ability to express complex feelings

• what not to say in the moment

• how to stay calm when you feel hurt or triggered

👀 Something Big Is Coming for Parents…

We’re launching The Parent Coach — and trust us, you’re going to want this in your back pocket. More details soon!

The 2026 ICP Parenting Summit is coming!

Join us March 16–19 for 35+ expert masterclasses and four interactive half-day workshops, featuring leading voices like Ross Greene, Laura Markham, Robert Melillo, Lawrence Cohen, Kim John Payne, and Jon Fogel. We’ll be diving into the topics parents need most: screens, discipline, anxiety, emotional regulation, neurodiversity, resilience, play, and more.

The summit is completely free, and VIP packages include lifetime access, toolkits, certificates, and a digital copy of The Parenting Handbook.

Click here to save your seat!

• how to repair and reconnect after the storm has passed

• ways to build emotional skills so these explosions happen less often

Tammy and Tania share compassionate, practical strategies that help parents lead with steadiness instead of shame or punishment. You’ll walk away understanding how to hold boundaries while still protecting your connection — even in the hardest moments.

If you’ve ever felt crushed, angry, or unsure what to do after hearing those words, this episode will help you see them differently and respond in a way that strengthens your relationship rather than strains it.

A must-listen for parents raising emotionally healthy, resilient kids.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.