Become New with John Ortberg Episode 26 - The CRAFT of Amends
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Mar 24, 2021 Rick Blackman, a counselor and relational repair expert, outlines the CRAFT framework for fixing broken relationships. He explains how anger signals ruptures and why unflooding matters. Short, practical steps cover recalling your role, offering genuine apologies, choosing forgiveness, and talking to prevent repeat harm.
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Rwanda Example Shows Ordinary People Become Complicit
- John Ortberg recounts Gary Haugen's Rwanda work to show bystander complicity in genocide.
- Haugen found ordinary people became complicit killers when restraints and peer pressure shifted.
Ordinary People Can Harbor Dangerous Capacity
- Ordinary people can harbor capacities for great harm when social and legal restraints collapse.
- John Ortberg cites Gary Haugen's Rwanda experience and Jesus' Sermon on the Mount to show anger nurtures destructive forces even in otherwise normal people.
Unflood First When Repairing Relationships
- Notice anger and changes in atmosphere as early signals of relational rupture and unflood before repairing.
- Rick Blackman recommends watching for fight, flee, or freeze responses and practicing self-soothing or connecting with God to calm down first.
