How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

S6, Ep2 How to Fail: Alain De Botton

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Oct 2, 2019
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ADVICE

Allow Ambivalence And Repair

  • Allow ambivalence in relationships and practice rupture-and-repair rather than seeking continual ecstatic bliss.
  • He recommends admitting annoyance and repairing repeatedly to build durable bonds, citing Winnicott's good-enough parent.
ANECDOTE

Reality TV As Anthropological Material

  • De Botton watches reality TV like Love Island for anthropological insight into love and human behaviour.
  • He insists valuable ideas can come from playgrounds or daytime TV, not just highbrow sources.
INSIGHT

Seeing Failure As Contingency

  • Viewing failure as often caused by luck or forces beyond the individual reduces harsh moral judgement.
  • De Botton cites fortuna and the gods to show much of life was historically seen as contingent.
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