A parenting story about an 11-year-old who refused a 6am surf class and why resistance can hide fear. They explore how friendships can unlock confidence and the idea of offering a one-time trial instead of forcing commitment. The conversation highlights picking challenges just beyond comfort and protecting quiet, screen-free time to help kids feel capable.
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Trial Surf Class Turned Into Confidence Boost
Kylie enrolled 11-year-old Emily in social surf lessons and was encouraged to move her to a 6am Grom 1 class.
Emily resisted but agreed to a one-time trial and ended up thriving once a friend arrived and she felt more confident.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Use One-Time Trials Instead Of Full Commitments
Offer a one-time, no-pressure trial instead of forcing a full-term commitment.
Promise to return to the original option if the child doesn't like the new setting.
insights INSIGHT
Resistance Often Masks Fear Of Incompetence
Resistance often hides fear of looking incompetent rather than dislike of the activity.
Recognising that fear lets parents create gentler entry points that support growth.
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What if your child’s resistance isn’t laziness… but fear?
In this heartfelt Friday “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow” episode of the The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie unpack a powerful parenting moment: an 11-year-old who didn’t want to try the 6am surf class — and the surprising truth behind her pushback.
This episode is about competence, courage, friendship, and why slowing down might be the most important thing we do for our kids (and ourselves).
If you’ve ever pushed, pulled, or panicked when your child resisted something new — this one will land.
KEY POINTS
Why “I don’t want to” often masks “What if I look dumb?”
The hidden power of friendships in building confidence
How to use a “soft entry” instead of forcing commitment
The sweet spot of growth (hello, zone of proximal development)
Why parents need protected, screen-free stillness
The family lesson we forgot after COVID
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“Sometimes our kids’ trepidation is less about the activity… and more about feeling incompetent.”
Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families