Humility as Strength

10 snips

Feb 5, 2026

A leader wrestles with being labeled prickly and explores whether humility can be a strength. The conversation defines humility as confidence without defensiveness and offers ways to assess your humility. Practical habits are shared, like asking “How might I be wrong?” and using active listening to build psychological safety. The arc shows how humility can boost team performance without diminishing authority.

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ANECDOTE

High Performer Learns Humility

Nicole was a high performer told to stop being 'prickly' and given a low-performing team to fix.
She learned humility as confidence without defensiveness and improved team performance quickly.

INSIGHT

Confidence Without Fragility

Humility equals confidence that isn't fragile or defensive.
Confident leaders invite others' opinions and are willing to be wrong.

ADVICE

Measure Your Humility

Assess yourself on a humility scale by noticing feelings when challenged.
Track whether you feel threatened, defensive, curious, or welcoming of challenge.

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A leader is getting pressured to stop being so prickly and gain some humility. With her coach, she explores whether it’s even possible for humility to ever be a strength.

Core concepts in this episode:

Humility is confidence without defensiveness.
Assess yourself on the humility scale. “How do I respond to challenges?”
Humble leaders are confident in their authority.
Ask frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?”
Humility requires active listening.

Questions addressed in this episode:

> Are humble leaders perceived as weak?

Some people may see humble leaders as weak, but humble leaders are actually confident in their authority.

> If humble leaders need confidence, will they be seen as arrogant?

No, because humble leaders do not fight for dominance. They invite the opinions of others and are non-defensive when challenged.

> How can I tell whether I am humble?

Ask yourself, “When I am challenged, what feelings do I experience?” Leaders who respond non-defensively are high in humility.

> What practices can I adopt to develop more humility?

Ask yourself frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?"

> What are the benefits to being a humble leader?

Your team will experience psychological safety and move towards high performance.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Humbitious: The Power of Low-Ego, High-Drive Leadership by Amer Kaissi explores how to be both ambitious and humble.

Links for coaches:

Join Tom and a community of coaches at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group.

The Los Angeles Chapter of International Coach Federation offers countless opportunities for CCEs and community building.

If you’re in the L.A. area, join the ICF-LA March Chapter meeting. And be sure to say ‘hi’ to Tom! Register here.

Each month, we share additional tools in our monthly email.

If you’d like to explore Private Coaching with Tom, reach out to him at: tom@essentialcomm.com.

This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:

Executive Presence

Leadership

Personal Growth & Self-Development

Related Episodes:

122 - Achieving Authenticity

146 - Building Empathy

248 - Building Listening

260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety

232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence

Thank you so much for your reviews!

From The Look & Sound of Leadership