The Conversation Factory Leading Deeper Connection
I'm really excited to share my conversation with Kat Vellos, an amazing designer of experiences.
Today we talk about the art of intentionality and the power of hearing yourself say something you've never said before. We also dive deep into some of the amazing insights in her book, "We Should Get Together: The secret to cultivating better friendships"
One of the things that I loved from the book was Kat's powerful metaphor about "hydroponic friendship," and how you can create a supercharged connection through intentional vulnerability and shared experiences.
She draws on her long-time experience as a facilitator and designer to create what for me was one of the big "Aha!" moments: hydroponic friendship requires a container, and that's one of the things that leaders can do to design experiences: They can create the container.
A container can be the question that starts the conversation, the invitation to the party. In Improv, it's called the "Magic Circle" - the place where new rules and ways of being apply, the "game world".
While Kat's book is about designing friendship in our lives, she points out that connection in one part of our lives leads to connection in all parts of our lives. We're experiencing loneliness and disconnection not only in our everyday lives but at work ...and work is where we spend a lot of time.
Kat and I unpack four powerful facets of leadership:
One: the ability to design experiences - the ability to bring people together to have a shared, transformative conversation.
Two: the ability to be flexible on outcomes while still being aligned on a larger goal. This is one of the most powerful Design Thinking mental models: focusing on needs instead of solutions.
Three: We also explore an absolutely fundamental capacity of leadership - the ability to listen and connect with people, deeply.
Four: Kat also points out that actually doing something with what you've heard is the last, most crucial component of leading and caring for a team.
I'm thrilled to have connected with Kat, and excited to share her work with you. I highly recommend reading her book "We Should Get Together" and its addendum, "Connected from Afar," which is filled with ways to create more intentional connection in your life and your work - it was written during the height of the pandemic, so the tools are all zoom-friendly.
Also, make sure you check out the links below to some of her other projects, and to her amazing post on 40-plus alternatives to "How are you?" with different versions for work and everyday life. Enjoy the show!
LINKS
Kat's Alternatives to "How are you"
We Should Get Together by Kat Vellos
The problem with how are you: brightsiding!
Inspiration
Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08W4XPK7G/