Everyone tells you to find your why.
But what if that's backwards?
I've had tens of thousands of conversations with people trying to figure out their lives. And I've noticed something controversial: nobody leads with their why. They lead with what they want. The why comes later when things get hard and you need fuel to keep going.
Most of your happiness comes from stumbling into things you love, not from some mythical why you discover on a mountaintop.
Today I'm pushing back on popular advice and sharing what actually works when you're trying to build the life you want.
Featured Story
My wife once told me she decided to date a bad boy.
That bad boy was me.
Then when I asked her to marry me, she said yes. But she also said something that made me laugh: "I figured out you're just a little bit bad. Mostly good."
We used to plan these elaborate dates. Dinner, dancing, the whole production. Those nights were usually just okay. But the nights we stumbled into with zero planning? Those were magic.
That's how life works too. You can be intentional all you want, but sometimes the best stuff happens when you're just bumbling around and something sticks.
Important Points
- Your passion isn't sitting out there waiting to be discovered. You trip and stumble into it when you're out there trying things and something clicks.
- People don't lead with why. They lead with what they want. I've seen this play out thousands of times in real conversations with real people.
- The why becomes critical when you're chasing something so big it scares you. That's when you need to know why you're doing it to keep going.
Memorable Quotes
"Life is long. You're going to change. I have people all the time say, Scott, you're not the same guy you were 20 years ago. That's the whole point."
"What happens if you have no idea what you want, but still the good things keep arriving in your life?"
"If you just bumble and stumble around, find the what you like, it won't be long before you find purpose. And purpose becomes your why."
Scott's Three-Step Approach
- Get up and take a step. Stop overthinking your why and start trying things. When you find something you like, stick with it a little bit.
- Focus on the what first. Ask yourself what you want to do, not why you want to do it. The why reveals itself when the work gets hard.
- Let purpose become your why. When you're doing something long enough and you're committed to it, your purpose becomes clear and that's your real why.
Chapter Notes
0:03 - The what and why question that drives everyone crazy
0:37 - Building your peaceful base between here and there
1:27 - The bumbling and stumbling truth about colorful lives
2:51 - Why passion isn't waiting to be discovered
3:52 - My controversial take on leading with why
5:37 - When stumbling around creates your best happiness
6:33 - The only time your why really matters
Connect With Me
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Email: support@motivationtomove.com
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