304. Can a Christian Caregiver Move a Parent With Dementia Who Refuses? — Understanding Capacity and Competency

Have you ever wondered what happens when doing what is safe for your parent doesn’t feel secure in your heart? That is exactly the question we are wrestling with today.

In this episode, I’m talking with Jodi, a repeat guest who is facing a heartbreaking dilemma. Her mom has lived in New York her whole life and refuses to move to Florida where Jodi and her brother live, even though her safety is at risk. She’s missing medications, she has fallen, and the strain on the sister living nearby is becoming too much.

We are stepping right into the hard questions today:

Capacity vs. Competency: 
Just because your parent hasn’t been declared legally incompetent doesn’t mean they have the capacity to understand the consequences of staying home alone. Are you "letting" them make a decision they no longer understand?

The "Safe Discharge" Window: 
We discuss the critical opportunity Jodi’s family missed when her mom was in a nursing home—and how you can use a "safe discharge" plan to prevent an unsafe return home.

Preempting the Crisis: 
Instead of waiting for the next fall or emergency to force a move, we talk about how to have the hard family meeting now. You need to decide: are we going to fight the battle now to ensure safety, or wait for a crisis where we have no choice?.

If you are feeling guilty because you are setting boundaries, remember: your God-given roles (like being a wife or mother) must come first. You do not have to figure this out alone. Let’s find a way to honor your parent and keep them safe, without losing your peace.

 

Don’t walk alone. The Christian DigniCare Society (lifetime, under $100) gives you community, coaching, prayer, and practical tools. 
https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/cds

 

💬 What Do I Say When Dementia Makes Words Hard?
Get “What Do I Say? How to Connect with Your Loved One with Dementia” — a free guide for Christian caregivers navigating confusion, repetition, and emotional moments.
📥 Download the guide now: https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/script

 

🤝 You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Join other Christian caregivers who are walking this road too — and learning how to care with compassion, clarity, and faith.
👥 Join the free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportforchristians

 

🗣️ Ask Your Question Live — and Be Heard
Bring your real-life caregiving questions to Ask the Dementia Coach — our free monthly Q&A session. You’ll get support, clarity, and maybe even be featured on the podcast.
🎤 Register here: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/ask

 

🎓 Want to Reduce Overwhelm Right Now?
Join our free workshop:
How to Immediately Reduce Dementia Caregiver Overwhelm and Stress — in 3 Simple Steps
🎟️ Reserve your seat: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/wsl

 

🧭 Still Feeling Stuck?
If you’re wondering what’s underneath your stress, the Caregiver Stress Assessment can help clarify what’s really weighing you down — so you can take your next step with peace.
📊 Take the free assessment: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/dca

 

❤️ Enjoy This Podcast?
Leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Christian caregivers find encouragement and real help.
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