#1250 Quill Kukla - Sex Beyond "Yes": Pleasure and Agency for Everyone

May 7, 2026

Quill Kukla, philosopher and author on sexual ethics and disability studies, joins to discuss Sex Beyond “Yes”. They explore sexual agency, pleasure as messy bodily enjoyment, and consensuality as ongoing communication. Conversations cover sexist sex norms, power dynamics, intoxicated encounters, safe words, kink exploration, and supporting agential sex across ages.

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INSIGHT

Sexual Agency Is Supported Self-Expression

Sexual agency means self-determining, self-expressive action, not isolated independence.
Quill Kukla emphasizes agency as supported by others and environment, preferring 'agency' over 'autonomy' to capture needed social scaffolding.

INSIGHT

Distinguish Consent From Consensuality

Consent is simply agreeing to a request, but consensuality is an ongoing communicative process during sex.
Kukla separates the quick act of consent from consensuality: bodily cues, eye contact, and stopping if anyone withdraws matter more ethically.

INSIGHT

Yes/No Consent Fuels A Narrow Sex Model

Focusing only on verbal yes/no consent supports a sexist, extractive model of sex that narrows agency for all genders.
Kukla calls this the extractive commodity model where sex is treated like something men obtain and women grant, which prevents discussion of making sex good.

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Dr. Quill Kukla is Professor of Philosophy at Georgetown University and a Visiting Fellow at Leibniz University Hannover. They are the author of Sex Beyond "Yes": Pleasure and Agency for Everyone.

In this episode, we focus on Sex Beyond “Yes”. We start by talking about sexual agency, sexual pleasure, and what constitutes good sex. We discuss consent and consensuality. We talk about sexist sexual norms. We also discuss sex while drunk or high, power dynamics, exploring new kinks, safe words, and everyday sex.

A HUGE THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS/SUPPORTERS: PER HELGE LARSEN, BERNARDO SEIXAS, ADAM KESSEL, MATTHEW WHITINGBIRD, ARNAUD WOLFF, TIM HOLLOSY, HENRIK AHLENIUS, ROBERT WINDHAGER, RUI INACIO, ZOOP, MARCO NEVES, COLIN HOLBROOK, PHIL KAVANAGH, SAMUEL ANDREEFF, FRANCIS FORDE, TIAGO NUNES, FERGAL CUSSEN, HAL HERZOG, NUNO MACHADO, JONATHAN LEIBRANT, JOÃO LINHARES, STANTON T, SAMUEL CORREA, ERIK HAINES, MARK SMITH, JOÃO EIRA, TOM HUMMEL, SARDUS FRANCE, DAVID SLOAN WILSON, YACILA DEZA-ARAUJO, ROMAIN ROCH, YANICK PUNTER, CHARLOTTE BLEASE, NICOLE BARBARO, ADAM HUNT, PAWEL OSTASZEWSKI, NELLEKE BAK, GUY MADISON, GARY G HELLMANN, SAIMA AFZAL, ADRIAN JAEGGI, PAULO TOLENTINO, JOÃO BARBOSA, JULIAN PRICE, HEDIN BRØNNER, FRANCA BORTOLOTTI, GABRIEL PONS CORTÈS, URSULA LITZCKE, SCOTT, ZACHARY FISH, TIM DUFFY, SUNNY SMITH, JON WISMAN, WILLIAM BUCKNER, LUKE GLOWACKI, GEORGIOS THEOPHANOUS, CHRIS WILLIAMSON, PETER WOLOSZYN, DAVID WILLIAMS, DIOGO COSTA, ALEX CHAU, CORALIE CHEVALLIER, BANGALORE ATHEISTS, LARRY D. LEE JR., OLD HERRINGBONE, DAN SPERBER, ROBERT GRESSIS, JEFF MCMAHAN, JAKE ZUEHL, MARK CAMPBELL, TOMAS DAUBNER, LUKE NISSEN, KIMBERLY JOHNSON, JESSICA NOWICKI, LINDA BRANDIN, VALENTIN STEINMANN, ALEXANDER HUBBARD, BR, JONAS HERTNER, URSULA GOODENOUGH, DAVID PINSOF, SEAN NELSON, MIKE LAVIGNE, JOS KNECHT, LUCY, MANVIR SINGH, PETRA WEIMANN, CAROLA FEEST, MAURO JÚNIOR, TONY BARRETT, NIKOLAI VISHNEVSKY, STEVEN GANGESTAD, TED FARRIS, HUGO B., JORDAN MANSFIELD, CHARLOTTE ALLEN, PETER STOYKO, DAVID TONNER, LEE BECK, PATRICK DALTON-HOLMES, NICK KRASNEY, RACHEL ZAK, DENNIS XAVIER, CHINMAYA BHAT, RHYS, AND ALEX MACLEOD!

A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY PRODUCERS, YZAR WEHBE, JIM FRANK, ŁUKASZ STAFINIAK, TOM VANEGDOM, BERNARD HUGUENEY, CURTIS DIXON, BENEDIKT MUELLER, THOMAS TRUMBLE, KATHRINE AND PATRICK TOBIN, JONCARLO MONTENEGRO, NICK GOLDEN, CHRISTINE GLASS, IGOR NIKIFOROVSKI, AND PER KRAULIS!

AND TO MY EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS, MATTHEW LAVENDER,SERGIU CODREANU, AND GREGORY HASTINGS!