Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide ERP 523: The Subconscious Patterns That Keep Us Stuck in Love — And How to Break the Cycle – An Interview with Riana Malia
Are you living a life that looks great on paper, but feels like something's missing beneath the surface? You've climbed the ladder, checked all the boxes, yet relationships and real fulfillment seem just out of reach. The cycle of "almost, but not quite" can leave even the most accomplished individuals wondering why old patterns keep resurfacing and why true connection remains elusive.
In this episode, listeners will explore how subconscious beliefs, habitual thought patterns, and unresolved emotional baggage shape the dynamics of love and connection. Through practical approaches like interrupting negative cycles, clarifying desires and values, and learning to rewire internal narratives, this conversation offers actionable steps to break free from unhelpful relationship patterns and begin creating the kind of intimacy and fulfillment you truly crave.
Riana helps high-achieving women who've built a life they're proud of in their career, family, friendships, and growth, but still feel stuck in the same old love patterns. Through her signature method, she helps them rewire the subconscious beliefs and recode the nervous system responses that have shaped their relationships for decades, so they can finally create extraordinary love that matches the life they've built.
Episode Highlights
04:01 Finding identity during life transitions.
08:31 Getting exactly what you ordered.
11:54 Rewiring neurology and internal beliefs.
13:01 Exploring therapeutic approaches.
17:24 Breaking negative thought patterns.
22:02 Accessing emotions to change behaviors.
24:39 Creating your vision board.
27:56 Shifting to positive self-talk.
31:44 Clearing out mental clutter.
35:04 Shifting mindset and frequency.
42:27 The power of forgiveness.
46:13 Steps to heal relationships.
Your Checklist of Actions to Take
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Clarify Your Desires: Take time to specifically identify what you truly want in relationships and life, beyond vague wishes, by listing your non-negotiables and values.
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Perform the Away/Toward Exercise: Write out everything you don't want on one piece of paper ("away") and all that you do want on another ("toward") to bring awareness to your focus.
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Wear a Rubber Band: For 72 hours, wear a rubber band on your wrist. When you notice negative thoughts, snap them to create an instant pattern interrupt and remind yourself to shift focus.
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Redirect Your Thinking: When you catch yourself focused on the "away" list, immediately replace the thought with something from your "toward" list or its positive opposite.
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Cultivate Genuine Gratitude: If struggling to generate positive feelings, ground yourself in something you are authentically grateful for in the present moment.
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Serve Others: If feeling stuck, perform a small act of kindness to shift your emotional state and break negative patterns.
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Incrementally Improve Your Emotional State: Don't force a leap from low emotions to joy—focus instead on moving up one or two levels on the emotional scale at a time.
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Release the Old Story: Set boundaries around retelling painful past stories to others; instead, focus conversations on new goals and dreams to reinforce a forward-looking identity.
Mentioned
Extraordinary Love Index™ (Free Diagnostic Quiz)
Brilliance Brunch (Events Page)
Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love (free guide)
Connect with Riana Malia
Website: rianamalia.com
Facebook: facebook.com/RianaMalia
YouTube: youtube.com/@rianamalia
Instagram: instagram.com/rianamalia
TikTok: tiktok.com/@rianamalia121
Podcast: podcast.rianamalia.com