The Breakdown with Josie Balka I don’t want to grow old, but I don’t want to not grow old
Jun 20, 2024
A reflective dive into the tension between wanting time to stop and resisting the idea of staying the same. A poem reading explores grief, fear, and conflicting feelings about aging. Conversations touch on nostalgia, future anxieties, cultural age shame, and the gratitude that comes from witnessing loved ones grow older. A call to be present and appreciate the gift of days.
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Grieving Past While Fearing Future
- Josie Balka feels simultaneous grief for past ages and fear of future ages, creating constant emotional conflict.
- This duality explains why she both resists and longs for time passing.
Living In The Previous Moment
- Josie notes a pattern of living in previous moments and then nostalgically missing the immediate past while in the present.
- This cycle prevents fully enjoying current ages and experiences.
Nostalgic For Young Sadness
- Josie feels nostalgic even for sad younger days because those emotions were 'grand' and shaped her identity.
- She contrasts being sad in a small apartment with now being in a house with the partner she wanted.