EP 9: The Grief Nobody Talks About: Why Every Transition Is Also a Loss

Mar 12, 2026

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Two weeks after I got the promotion I'd worked toward for three years, I found myself crying in my car.

It made no sense. This was what I wanted. I'd celebrated. I'd posted about it. I'd called my parents.

I was happy.

So why did I feel like I'd lost something?

It took me weeks to name it: I was grieving.

Not the old job, exactly. But the version of myself who did that job. The identity I'd built over years. The rhythms I'd grown comfortable with. The relationships that wouldn't be the same now.

I was grieving the old normal — even though I'd chosen to leave it.

Here's what nobody tells you: Every transition involves loss. Even the joyful ones. Even the ones you choose.

You don't just grieve people who die. You grieve:

Jobs you leave (even toxic ones)
Identities you outgrow (even ones that felt too small)
Bodies that change (even when you're getting healthier)
Dreams you release (even when you're choosing better ones)
Versions of yourself you can't go back to (even when you're becoming who you're meant to be)

And when grief shows up in these unexpected places, most of us don't know what to do with it.

In this episode, we explore:

✨ Why every transition begins with an ending (William Bridges' framework)

✨ Understanding "ambiguous loss" — grief that lacks clarity or cultural recognition (Dr. Pauline Boss)

✨ Why grief shows up in unexpected places: empty nests, career changes, recovery, geographic moves, health diagnoses, relationship evolutions

✨ How families and teams resist acknowledging grief during "positive" transitions

✨ The power of naming: "I'm excited about what's next AND I'm sad about what's ending"

✨ Holding the "both/and" — why emotional complexity is healthier than forced positivity

✨ Creating rituals of closure when there's no funeral, no casserole brigade, no culturally sanctioned grieving period

✨ Scripts for naming loss:

To yourself: "I'm allowed to grieve this, even though I chose it"
To others: "I need you to make space for both my excitement and my sadness"
When people minimize your grief: "I'm not stuck — I'm processing. There's a difference."

✨ What healthy grieving during transition actually looks like (spoiler: it's not staying stuck)

This isn't about wallowing in the past. It's about clearing space for the future.

Because you can't build a new normal on top of an ungrieved old one. You have to honor what was before you can fully embrace what's next.

Drawing on research from Dr. Pauline Boss (ambiguous loss), Dr. Susan David (emotional agility), Dr. Kenneth Doka (disenfranchised grief), Dr. James Pennebaker (expressive writing), and Dr. William Bridges (transitions).