Listener question: how can I stop memories of trauma creating fear

listener question: 

Can you talk about fear generated from flashbacks? It seems life flows along and contact with family members which is regular, unfortunately, undoubtedly triggers remembrances of a traumatic, cruelty filled childhood and young adulthood.

Once the thought storm is triggered, it's almost impossible to step out of the loop and fear takes over. Fear of insanity too, because other family members don't have the same experience.

Decades of techniques and therapy have not erased the horror film from the memory bank. There's effort to honor the feelings now and let them go, but (here's the big but that you speak of) they come back in the form of other memories. Is it just a matter of time? How long must this go on? I'm no spring chicken and I've had enough.

Amazingly, the fear hasn't stopped me from having a full life, but life experiences have always been tainted by the fear, anxiety and depression that visits regularly.

Any wisdom will be appreciated.