Nine To Noon Helen Ellis on being a grandchild or grandparent living geographically apart
Mar 4, 2026
Helen Ellis, researcher and author of Being a Distance Grandchild, shares her family story and research on long-distance grandparenting. She explores what distance grandchildren treasure, why visits feel intense, how relationships shift with age, and practical rhythms to stay connected. She also discusses the perks and pitfalls of technology, the importance of one-on-one time, and avoiding guilt in migrant families.
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Grandparents Home As A Stability Refuge
- Many distance grandchildren treasured the grandparents' home as a stable refuge, down to small details like a salt cellar or a specific bedspread.
- Ellis recounts stories titled Don't Change the Bed Spread to show how sameness provided security for mobile children.
Mementos And Visits Mark Life Turning Points
- Distance grandchildren kept 'squirreled away' mementos like letters and postcards that grandparents sent, often never discarded.
- Helen notes visits are turning points: one trip focuses on theme parks, later trips shift to adult interests like wine cellars.
Home Country Birth Gives Contextual Advantage
- Grandchildren born in the grandparents' country gain contextual familiarity—room backgrounds, routines, local activities—that help maintain connection across distance.
- Ellis warns selling or moving the grandparents' house can sever an important link to 'home' for those grandchildren.