All Out with Jon Dean BISEXUAL MASTERCLASS: Why (Some) Women and (Not All) Gay Men Are The Problem, with Lewis Oakley
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Jul 1, 2025 Lewis Oakley, British bisexual writer and podcaster known for bisexual men's advocacy. He breaks down how biphobia often comes from within LGBT+ circles and some straight women. Conversations cover mental health disparities, why coming out as bisexual is mistrusted, dating dynamics, disclosure timing, hookup-app culture, and how communities can better support bisexual people.
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Practice Coming Out Before Telling A Partner
- Practice coming out to less important people before telling a long-term partner.
- Lewis advises gaining experience answering questions with friends or strangers first to prepare for the partner conversation.
Tell Partners How Life Will Change
- When telling a partner, explain concretely how their life will change and propose a relationship plan.
- Lewis stresses clarifying whether you want monogamy, openness, or no change to rebuild trust.
Bar Confrontation Sparked Public Work
- Lewis's activism began after a gay man dismissed his bisexuality at a bar, sparking his response.
- That confrontation led Lewis to start speaking up and doing more public bisexual work.