This Is Good Advice For Your Kids

Jan 22, 2020

Explore the tension between broad exploration and focused commitment in childhood development. Discover insights on encouraging kids to engage in diverse activities while recognizing the importance of making decisive choices later on. Learn why waiting too long to pursue passions can be detrimental. Dive into the conversation about how today's extended adolescence challenges young people to find their true paths amid societal pressures. Balance is key in helping children cultivate their interests and determine their futures.

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ANECDOTE

Range vs. Specialization

David Epstein's book, Range, advises against early specialization, citing Tiger Woods' example.
However, there is a time for commitment, like Roger Federer's eventual dedication to tennis.

ADVICE

Balancing Specialization and Exploration

Encourage exploration in your children's interests, but guide them towards commitment.
Avoid premature specialization, but don't let them postpone choosing a path indefinitely.

INSIGHT

Extended Adolescence and Specialization Paradox

The pressure for early specialization coincides with extended adolescence, delaying serious life choices.
This delay can lead to feelings of falling behind and a lack of mastery.

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We’ve talked before about David Epstein’s wonderful book Range, which advises against premature specialization—in athletes, in kids, in intellectual development. It tends to be better, he writes, to pursue a wide variety of activities and build a base of competence than it is to be like Tiger Woods--or rather like Earl Woods--and dedicate yourself or your child to golf at two years old.

But it’s important that the message of this book is not oversimplified. There undoubtedly must come a time, as Epstein points out, for someone like Roger Federer, where you decide to commit to something and it becomes your thing. While you don’t want to do that too early, it’s important you don’t get to it too late either. Getting serious about becoming a Navy SEAL at age 35 is an exercise in futility (another lesson Tiger Woods learned too late).

Which is why it’s important that we also pass along the advice that David Brooks has for young people in The Second Mountain. “Get to yourself quickly,” he writes. “If you know what you want to do, start doing it.” It’s ironic that the rise of specialization for kids seems to have also coincided with an increasingly extended adolescence for many kids. Now everybody is told to go to college. Then encouraged to travel. Or travel and then go to college. (Gap year consulting is now a real thing.) Then move to a new city. Date around, have flings. Try a handful of different jobs. People seem to be delaying getting serious about their lives...and then they wonder why they are falling behind, why they aren’t truly great at anything, why they are 35 years old and have little to show for their year and start thinking about the Navy SEALS.

So this is the delicate balance you’ll have to figure out as you guide your kids through life. Don’t take options off the table too early...but don’t put off choosing forever. It’s great to be interested in lots of things...but you should still search for a true love. Don’t overly specialize...but if you have a calling, chase it!

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