You're not alone or broken—the pursuit of happiness is making us miserable

11 snips

Feb 11, 2026

Eamon Evans, Melbourne-based writer and philosopher who wrote The Importance of Being Miserable, explores why the modern chase for constant happiness backfires. He traces how capitalism, advertising and social media reshape desire. Short takes on hedonic adaptation, meta-unhappiness, the value of lows, gratitude, Gen Z’s emotional intelligence and why misery can deepen empathy and meaning.

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ANECDOTE

Depression Broadened His Perspective

Eamon Evans recounts being depressed in his early 20s and gaining a broader lens on life afterwards.
He says that surviving that period made him more appreciative and aware of life's variety.

INSIGHT

Emotional Bungee Cord

Emotional states ride an internal 'bungee cord' and adapt back to a baseline after big changes.
Evans says happiness and misery are transient guests, not permanent conditions.

INSIGHT

Agency And The Axial Shift

The idea that humans can and should pursue happiness emerges slowly from the Axial Age.
Before that, virtues like duty, discipline and detachment dominated moral life.

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Philosopher and writer Eamon Evans on humanity's relentless and impossible pursuit of happiness through materialism, social media and self help, and why the kindest and best people have been 'crushed by life' a couple of times.

Eamon started to think more deeply about happiness and contentment in his 20s, after a bout of serious depression.

He realised that trying to be happy all the time was paradoxically making him miserable, and says that's true for most of us in this modern world.

Eamon began to trace the history of human's infatuation with being happy.

What he found was that the story of humanity was tied up with other pursuits like survival, honour, virtue and discipline until very recently.

Only in the 20th century did people start wanting to stop to smell the roses all the time, but Eamon says a permanent state of happiness impossible and emotionally counterproductive.

In fact, our obsession with being happy is actually making us sad, and on top of that, it's making us sad about the fact that we're sad—a concept called 'meta-unhappiness'.

Eamon acknowledges misery can sometimes be pathological, and it's important that lifesaving progress has been made on creating spaces here people can speak out and seek help.

But in terms of daily, natural feelings of struggle, he says it's better to accept these as a normal part of human life, and look upon seasons of misery as miracles that build character, make us kinder, and more interesting.

The Importance of Being Miserable is published by Simon and Schuster.

This episode of Conversations was produced by Meggie Morris, Executive Producer was Nicola Harrison.

It explores advertising, marketing, smart phones, addiction, dopamine, serotonin, Gen Z, glimmers of hope, gratitude, being grateful, how to be grateful, gratitude journal, Buddhism, enlightenment, Mad Men, advertising, capitalism, mental health, mental wellbeing, self help books, religion, industrial revolution, greed, property, wants versus needs.

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