The Subtle Destruction of Looking Back

by Autumn Dickson

The story of Lot’s wife is an intense one. Sodom and Gomorrah was a wicked city, and God commanded Lot to flee with his family and not look back. They are told to leave immediately or be swept away in the destruction. Lot goes and tells his family members that they need to flee, and they laugh at him. Despite trying to warn family, he keeps lingering. It finally gets to the point where the angels grab the hands of Lot, his wife, and his daughters and run. Then Lot’s wife looks back.

Genesis 19:26 But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

Lot’s wife was destroyed because she looked back with longing and regret. It seems a bit harsh, but this is true to life. Regardless of how this story played out in real life, it teaches us something important. It is a warning. Looking back has the power to destroy you even if you technically follow the commandments in other ways. He’s not even warning you saying, “I will destroy you if you look back.” He is saying, “Looking back can lead to destruction.” If you look carefully at the wording, it says that she became a pillar of salt. It doesn’t say that God turned her into one.

Let’s look at these principles in the context of Lot.

The citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah were wicked. The Lord did rain down justice upon them, but honestly, they probably would have destroyed themselves anyway. The fact that they were trying to hurt the visitors at Lot’s house is proof of this. Not to mention, there comes a certain point where a person can be “destroyed” even if they’re still physically living. I would imagine that many within the city had found this emotional scarring, trauma, emptiness, and hopelessness. The Lord rained down justice on them.

But here’s the important principle I want to talk about today: He also rained down justice upon Lot’s wife as she looked back longingly at what she had left behind. The scriptures show a direct and immediate destruction of Lot’s wife. I have wondered what this looked like in real life, but regardless of how the details played out in reality, the principle is crystal clear. When we choose to look back in the same manner as Lot’s wife, we will find the same consequences even if they’re not immediate like they were in the scripture story.

What was Lot’s wife longing for? There are two potential answers. Perhaps Lot’s wife was legitimately longing for the sin within the city; she valued sin and set her heart on it. Or…perhaps she was longing for something more neutral. This is equally important to understand because its subtlety can make it even more dangerous. We know loving sin can lead to destruction, but do we also understand that looking back with longing at something more neutral can hurt us? Perhaps she wasn’t looking back at sin but at her home and belongings, things that aren’t inherently evil. Either way, this looking back has the power to eat away at us until we are destroyed (if not physically, then emotionally).

When we’re looking at our own lives, I want to focus on that second potential. Perhaps we are not secretly longing for sin. Perhaps we long for what might have been or for good things that we left behind, or even neutral things that we left behind.

Let me give you some potential examples of longing that could lead to personally destroying oneself.

“I wish I had married so-and-so. I wish I could rewind the clock and try again.”

“Why did the Lord ask me to leave my home behind? I hate this place. I hate that I lost so much.”

“I miss high school and college. Life is so hard now. It’s not fun.”

“The Church didn’t let me do anything. I missed out on so much growing up.”

In cases like this, we don’t often immediately turn into pillars of salt. Oftentimes, the consequences aren’t immediate either which is precisely why they can be so dangerous. Despite the lack of salt or immediacy, these thoughts have the power to destroy us anyway. Even if these thoughts never technically lead us all the way “back into the city,” they still hold enough power over us to make us miserable despite new and good circumstances. We can live our whole lives sitting at the window and looking back at what we lost, sacrificing what the Lord is trying to give to us or sacrificing the things that could give us happiness now and in the future.

Discontent poisons the present. Regret can become our identity. Your life right now feels barren, not because it is barren but because you refuse to see the good. These kinds of thoughts can poison your current relationships, the ones that have the power to offer the joy you apparently miss so much. You may have plenty, but you’re too busy emotionally investing yourself in an empty past. There is no gratitude, and therefore, no happiness. Bitterness has the power to leave you destroyed even if you’re not turned into a pillar of salt.

Let it go. It’s going to take a while to become something new if you have repeated old patterns of looking back over and over and over throughout the years. When you have trained yourself to fall back into seemingly rosier times whenever you hit roadbumps in your present, then it’s going to take some time to retrain yourself.

But it is only in retraining yourself that you’re going to avoid that emotional destruction and bitterness and find happiness in what the Lord can give you in your present circumstances.

You have to make a decision to leave it behind, and then you have to make that decision over and over and over until your eyes are opened to the gifts in your present, until you no longer automatically fall back into reminiscing instead of investing in your present.

The destruction of what you thought you wanted isn’t the end. There is more ahead in your life beyond what you’re leaving behind. Maybe you’re not longing for sin. Maybe you’re just longing for what you once had, but it can still hurt you.

I testify that Heavenly Father loves you. I testify that there is more goodness ahead and that looking at the past can prevent us from finding that goodness. I testify that He can send all the goodness in the world to your front door, all the most important goodness, but it won’t matter if we are looking back. We leave ourselves empty and bitter. I testify that the scriptures hold powerful lessons that give us a pattern to follow to make us happy.

 

Autumn Dickson was born and raised in a small town in Texas. She served a mission in the Indianapolis Indiana mission. She studied elementary education but has found a particular passion in teaching the gospel. Her desire for her content is to inspire people to feel confident, peaceful, and joyful about their relationship with Jesus Christ and to allow that relationship to touch every aspect of their lives. Autumn was the recipient of FAIR’s 2024 John Taylor Defender of the Faith Award.

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