How to Negotiate With A Narcissist: Learn Skills to Communicate & Set Boundaries in High-Conflict Relationships | Rebecca Zung | Happiness | E498

When love and relationships turn into constant conflict, the problem isn’t that you’re bad at communicating; it’s that you’re negotiating without a strategy. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby sits down with negotiation expert Rebecca Zung to unpack how communication breaks down in narcissistic relationships and what it really takes to negotiate effectively in a marriage or partnership marked by high conflict.

If you’ve ever found yourself explaining, accommodating, or giving more and more in the hope that things will finally calm down, only to feel resentful or powerless later, this conversation is for you. Rebecca shares why negotiation is not just a legal skill, but a relationship skill and a self-worth skill, especially when you’re dealing with someone who is unpredictable, manipulative, or unwilling to meet you halfway.

We talk about how to negotiate with a narcissist without losing yourself, including why mindset and preparation matter more than saying the “right” thing in the moment. Rebecca explains how common negotiation tactics like over-giving, people-pleasing, and JADE-ing (justify, argue, defend, explain) quietly undermine your position, and how clarity around your values, boundaries, and walk-away points can change the entire dynamic.

You’ll also hear practical strategies for staying grounded and strategic in high-conflict relationships, setting boundaries without escalating conflict, and using leverage in ways that protect your energy, your self-respect, and what matters most to you.

As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this: Where have you been negotiating against yourself just to keep the peace? And what might shift if you approached these conversations with more clarity, intention, and respect for your own needs?

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why Negotiation Is a Relationship Skill

01:38 Rebecca Zung’s Personal Path to Negotiation Expertise

09:31 The First Negotiation Is With Yourself

13:26 Why Mindset Determines Negotiation Outcomes

18:24 Over-Giving, People-Pleasing, and Resentment

28:18 The Five I’s of Negotiation Leverage

43:30 Never JADE: How to Stop Giving Away Your Power

46:43 Setting Boundaries in High-Conflict Relationships

If this episode resonated, and you’re realizing that navigating a high-conflict relationship requires more than just trying harder or explaining yourself better, I want you to know that support is available.

I’d love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with my team at Growing Self. This is a private, secure space where you can share what’s been happening in your relationship and where you’re feeling stuck or drained. You’ll answer a few quick questions so we can thoughtfully connect you with the right counselor or coach, someone who understands high-conflict dynamics and can help you move forward with greater clarity, confidence, and self-trust.

You don’t have to keep negotiating without a strategy, and you don’t have to do this alone.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

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