Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families Stop the Sneaky Lies Without Crushing Trust
Feb 16, 2026
They tackle why lying is a normal developmental step and not a moral collapse. They explain how harsh punishments and shame make kids better at hiding the truth. They offer practical ways to frame questions, avoid traps, and solve access-to-treats and screen conflicts together. They normalize repeating the conversation and give calm, constructive strategies to encourage honesty.
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Finding Coins And Instant Catastrophizing
- Justin recounts finding his daughter with coins and confronting her about stealing and lying.
- He describes the immediate catastrophizing and guilt he felt as a parent in that moment.
Lying Signals Cognitive Development
- Lying is a developmental milestone that reflects growing cognitive skills like theory of mind.
- By age seven or eight nearly all children will tell lies as they learn to plan and regulate behaviour.
Avoid Harsh Punishment
- Avoid harsh punitive responses because punishment increases the likelihood of more lying.
- Use calm problem-solving instead of heavy punishment to reduce secretive behaviour.