#77: Forgiving Ourselves

 Podcast Show Notes: Forgiving Ourselves and Moving Forward

In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra discuss the importance of forgiving oneself and moving forward. We address the tendency to hold onto mistakes and regrets, how these feelings can lead to negative emotions and even depression, and strategies for self-forgiveness.

Introduction:

• Amanda introduces the show and reminds listeners to rate and review the podcast.
• Laura introduces the topic of forgiving oneself and its importance for personal progress and well-being.
• The hosts acknowledge that mistakes are inevitable in a medical career and can lead to carrying negative emotions.

Importance of Forgiving Ourselves:

• Laura discusses the significance of forgiving oneself and the impact of past mistakes on self-perception.
• Kendra highlights the connection between self-forgiveness, shame, guilt, interpersonal relationships, and decision-making.
• They emphasize the link between not forgiving oneself and increased risk of depression and anxiety.

Personal Stories and Learning from Mistakes:

• Amanda shares a personal story related to self-forgiveness and recalls the idea from "The Four Agreements" about humans punishing themselves for mistakes.
• Kendra narrates a medical case that weighed heavily on her and led to changes in her practice and decision-making.
• Laura talks about the necessity of mistakes in shaping medical practice and improving patient care.

Overcoming Negative Self-Talk:

• The hosts discuss the inner critic and the inner protector as sub-personalities within the mind.
• Laura provides insights from Dr. Rick Hanson on cultivating the inner protector to counter the critical voice.
• They explore how acknowledging caring relationships and one's own good qualities can help build self-forgiveness.

Steps to Self-Forgiveness:

1. Start with the feeling of being cared about and cultivate the inner protector.
2. Consider moral faults, unskillfulness, and other aspects of the situation.
3. Sort the situation and assign feelings of guilt or remorse where appropriate.
4. Take responsibility and feel it, then reflect on lessons learned.
5. Make amends and seek forgiveness from the inner protector.
6. Repeat these steps to rewire the brain and promote self-forgiveness over time.

Conclusion:

• The hosts emphasize the need to release the grip of the past and forgive oneself to move forward and be the best version.
• They encourage self-forgiveness not only for personal well-being but also to set an example for others.

Just One Thing, by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.