unPAUSED with Dr. Mary Claire Haver The Holderness Family Gets Real About Perimenopause
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Apr 28, 2026 
Kim Holderness, creator and author navigating perimenopause, postpartum anxiety, and OCD. Penn Holderness, creator, author, and newly diagnosed with ADHD, talks creativity and supporting his wife. They discuss raw perimenopausal symptoms, gaps in care, hormonal and psychiatric treatment, marriage dynamics in midlife, and using humor to make hard conversations approachable.
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Perimenopause Panic Attacks That Started With Marinara
- Kim described panic attacks triggered by mundane moments like shopping for marinara that made her feel chased by a bear and convinced something was wrong.
- After an initial doctor visit gave no treatment she paid for a functional medicine consult that prescribed progesterone and later psychiatric care that restored her life.
Don't Accept 'Normal' As No Treatment
- If a clinician dismisses perimenopausal mental-health symptoms as "normal," seek a second opinion and consider hormone support plus psychiatric evaluation.
- Kim found progesterone from a functional doctor and later combined hormone plus psych meds to feel like herself again.
Perimenopause Carries Elevated Suicide Risk
- Dr. Mary Claire highlighted the high suicide risk between ages 45 and 55 and linked it to perimenopausal mental-health crises.
- Kim corroborated feeling deep despair despite having a happy marriage and life until treatment helped.
