Shame from other people's actions: listener question

In today's blog you say

"This shift from shame, the lowest and most painful of experiences of existence to the blissful sanity of no-doer is, I believe, the reason why enlightenment is such a powerfully transformative experience."

 I can see this within the context of a something that "I" have done

What about something that "another person" has done? Something I had no agency or control over.

"Me/Control"

I sometimes (rarely now) feel ashamed about putting too much money into my business for too little impact.

"Other/No control"

I have felt anger towards my birth mother for not living me enough to keep me.

I think this anger was the flip side of feeling ashamed at not being good enough to keep