After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings

Divorce Doesn't Ruin Kids, Conflict Does

Feb 11, 2026
Gabriella Pomare, family lawyer and co-parenting expert who founded The Collaborative Co-Parent, shares practical legal and emotional guidance for separation. She explores how ongoing parental conflict, not divorce, harms kids. Short takes cover grieving and healing without involving children, reassurance and steady communication, and strategies for co-parenting with an uncooperative ex.
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ADVICE

Heal First, Parent Better

  • Do the emotional work and healing before expecting to co-parent well; processing grief is essential for clarity.
  • Use therapy, journaling, and support to redesign your life for you and your kids.
ADVICE

Shield Kids From Adult Grief

  • Feel your emotions but do not involve your children in your grieving or adult conflicts.
  • Protect kids from being messengers or emotional carriers between parents.
INSIGHT

Conflict, Not Divorce, Harms Kids

  • Divorce itself doesn't 'ruin' children; ongoing unresolved conflict does lasting damage.
  • Protecting kids from post-separation conflict matters more than staying in a toxic household.
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