Listener question: what about violence ?

Listener question: I just listened to the latest video and podcast that you sent out and feel somewhat clearer about this whole thing to do with our ‘shadow’
Basically my understanding is that whatever I see ‘out there’ is simply a reflection of what I have going on ‘in here’ 
So the only thing for me to do if I am having a reaction to something or someone is to look for where in myself I am not being my True Self…is that right?

If so, can you help me see how this could possibly apply if I or someone close to me or a child had been sexually abused or murdered?
This is not something I have ever thought I would even be remotely interested in seeing, but somehow I can feel the freedom it would offer to be able to even consider this possibility.