
Negotiate Anything The “Just Do It” Lie No One Talks About
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Apr 18, 2026 Joe Navarro, former FBI behavioral analyst who reads nonverbal cues, and Laura Pence, a clinical psychologist focused on curiosity-driven therapy, explore how turning inward changes high-stakes talks. They discuss internal curiosity, quick self-checks to stay composed, subtle body language and status signals, and language that lowers defenses. Practical habits for presence and observation are highlighted throughout.
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Give People A Benign Pass To Stay Present
- Mentally give the other person a benign explanation to depersonalize an attack and stay engaged.
- Kwame practices imagining external reasons (lost job, pet death) to avoid reactive shutting down in mediations.
Use Fast Body Checks To Regain Presence
- Use quick body checks during conversations to notice discomfort (backing up, crossing arms) and ask a fast internal question.
- Pence recommends brief prompts like "What was that?" to convert unconscious signals into useful data.
Replace Accusation With Curious Language
- Shift accusatory language to curiosity phrases like "I'm wondering what makes you..." or "Help me understand."
- Pence warns 'how could you' triggers defensiveness while curiosity softeners invite collaboration.






