Within there is a Jewel

Our attention is a precious resource. We use it all the time, and so, might forget what a resource it is. Contemplative traditions throughout the ages recognized the preciousness of attention. And also recognized that if we don’t put in the effort to train our attention, our attention may get hijacked, scattered, frittered away by the thieves of time or thoughts of worry, disappointment, greed and hatred.

With the election news blaring right now. It might feel easier then ever for attention to get hijacked in doom-scrolling, anxieties about the future, worries and fear.

It is an on-going practice to notice where our attention is being pulled, and to remember that we have choice about what we are attending to. To remember that attending to joy, compassion, equanimity and loving kindness awaken these qualities in our own hearts and in the world.

The intellect can only get us so far, as individuals and as a species. We have other resources and capacities that are under-valued in our capitalist society, but are life-affirming and necessary for our wellbeing. Qualities like spaciousness, presence, clear-seeing, compassion for others, curiosity and play allow us to connect beyond our differences in views and even across species-lines. These qualities potentiate other ways of showing up for ourselves, others and the world—ways of being that empower us to companion uncertainty and awaken to our inter-connectedness.

About a thousand years ago, a Zen teacher named Yunmen said to their community:

Within heaven and earth, through space and time, there is a jewel, hidden inside the mountain of form. Pick up a lamp and go into the Buddha Hall, take the triple gate and bring it on the lamp.

In Zen, we call statements like this koans. Words or phrases that can’t be understood with our intellects alone but require a different kind of attention and inquiry. Koans like this, invite us in to ways of seeing that are as multifaceted as this jewel. They invite us into their world, a world of possibility—a world that is right here, inside this one that we are already living. So if you can for a moment, slip below the apparent linearity of time—into the present—and conjure for a moment—MOUNTAIN.

Maybe you live by a mountain. Maybe you have only seen pictures of them. Maybe at some point in your life you backpacked or camped or hiked on a mountain. Mountains have presence. To view a mountain, even an image of one can often invoke a sense of inner stillness, a sense of awe or even majesty.

In the summer at great vow we would often study the Mountains and Rivers Sutra by Dogen Zenji. In it Dogen says:

Mountains possess complete virtue with nothing lacking. They are always safely rooted yet constantly moving. You should study the meaning of always moving. You should study the green mountains. Just because the movement of mountains is not like the movement of human beings, do not doubt that it exists.

We would practice sitting like a mountain. My teacher Chozen Roshi said, “If you sit like a mountain everyday for a month, it will change you.” What is it like to sit as a mountain. To sit in your completeness, to sit as though nothing were lacking. To be both safely rooted, connected to the earth, woven into the landscape, deeply connected to yourself as ecotone, as ecology, as a network of being—in constant movement, yet so Here.

Mountain practice reminds us that we too are emplaced. Whether you live by mountains, or in the valley, or on the prairie, plains, forest, desert, coast—we are always emplaced. In a network of relations. In this city of sirens and heavy exhaust—a cardinal sings, a bright yellow finch bathes in the neighbors gutter, edible mushrooms grow in the metro park, walnut trees dine with paw-paws creating a ceaseless canopy near the rushing river, where a doe cleans her new born babe, whose fur is covered in white spots, legs still wobbly.

Where-ever you find yourself right now, you are emplaced, connected to a geography, a living landscape of relationships. In part it is the quality of our attention that awakens a belonging to this earth community, to the breath of the wind and the space of the sky—

Even though in parts of the human mind there appears to be so much division, contempt and fear. Interconnectedness is also true. We are also Mountain, landscape, a web of relatedness—we are also movement, breeze, sky, song. And within this mountain of form—there is a jewel.

Within this mountain of form, within this life we find ourselves in, our particular karma—body pain, unanswered emails, childhood traumas, societal divides, violence, fear, disappointment, hope. There is a jewel.

Within this body/mind with its beliefs about being unworthy, too much, not-good-enough. There is a jewel.

In dharma practice, we are invited to awaken to the jewel of our true nature. To recognize it. To refamiliarize ourselves with it. And to remember that this precious jewel doesn’t exist outside of the actual emplacement of our living. The actual events, fears, disappointments, pains.

We don’t have to go somewhere else to find it. We don’t have to transcend this earthly existence. 

Right here in this mountain of form. This mountain of being. We are spacious clarity, love is our heart’s nature—this is the great mystery. 

For what we are at the core is radiantly present, and vastly undefinable.

The buddhist path recognizes that human life throws a lot of shade on this jewel, that we get sucked into believing things about ourselves, others and the world that appears to cover over our radiant jewel. We forget that the mountain is alive, that it is, we are— part of a great re-cycling of energy—that the re-circulating of earth, winds, waters, hope, love + bone is how the mountain continues.

In our forgetting, we attempt to make sense of life and death, violence, lack of care—and develop strategies, beliefs are reinforced from caregivers or religious systems, stories are told that aren’t true but helped to keep us safe when it seemed like nothing else would.

Beliefs like, I alone am responsible for the injustice in the world. I alone should be able to fix this. If only I tried harder, read more, woke up earlier…was more enlightened. Or I’m not good enough. I am a failure. This shouldn’t be happening….

What we call practice is a path of reckoning with what is true. Coming back to the ground, to the earth, to the body, this mountain of form.

Right here—there is aliveness.

Right here—mysterious grace.

Pure possibility.

Then we have the second part of the koan. Use this mountain of form with its precious jewel—pick up a lamp and go to the buddha hall, take the triple gate and bring it on the lamp.

It’s not enough to recognize the jewel. Now let it shine, share it.

It’s a ridiculous image. I picture this giant toreii gate smashing through the buddha hall—bringing the temple entrance right here, right next to the buddha, right into our meditation space. Or bringing the buddha hall out through the temple gate. Out into the world.

Dharma practice invites us to ask—what is your dream for the world?

Sometimes we forget that we get to have one. We are so busy just trying to survive, to manage, to get enough of what we want. Spiritual practice really continues to ask us some version of this—why? What for? 

So what is your dream for yourself, others—the world? 

I want to allow what we usually call VOW to be a dream today. Vow can get us stuck in perfection or overly involved in commitment

Dream invites imagination, process, experimentation…mystery…

It invites us to smash into the buddha hall with all our fears and hopes about the world—to bring everything we’ve got to our spiritual practice.

Dreaming also appreciates that there is uncertainty, much we don’t know, that we can’t be responsible for everything—but can be responsive.

Part of what Yunmen is showing is a kind of radical faith. Yes, this world seems so fixed, but maybe much of what is fixed is your way of thinking about it. Maybe you are taking a limited human view.

Or yes our political situation, institutions, society— appear so corrupt, and you don’t have to let it corrupt you. 

Stay connected to this jewel, the spaciousness, clarity, love of your heart’s nature. There is possibility, mystery is always right here—even though this may appear to be a mountain of form, it doesn’t mean the only thing you can do is summit it, or run away. Maybe there are other options besides conquering or being defeated. 

Maybe you can walk around, maybe you can meet people at the base, maybe you can meander, sit with a tree, listen to the concerns of the river, get to know the landscape.

Maybe we can apply this to our response to the election news or an interpersonal challenge or with our own inner life. 

Maybe I can hang out with this part of me that gets afraid, maybe I can make space for my grief, maybe I can call a friend and cry together/laugh together/make plans to see each other, maybe I can do something generous for a loved one, maybe I can recommit to showing up for what I care about in a really local way—feeding the neighborhood cat, attending a town hall meeting, volunteering at the library, making a donation to a shelter, getting to know people who work at the local grocery, getting to know my more-than-human community.

Part of what I carry on this lamp is a dream for an awakened society. I carry it into and out of the buddha hall, I carry it—even as I meet the very real violence, bigotry, hatred and greed that is part of the manifestation of our world right now, part of my own conditioning. How does the jewel of awakened nature meet the manifestations of greed, violence, fear, loneliness? 

This is a living question. Something to live into and carry into the world.

The koan also gives us practical medicine/instruction. Here are simple things you can do to train/reclaim your attention:

Sit as a mountain, connect with the heart center. When we sit as a mountain, we connect to the earth and sky. We are invited to connect with our place, whether we live here or not, we can connect to place where ever we are. We can let ourselves feel emplaced. We can get to know the trees, birds, animals, flowers, rivers, rocks, fossils, breezes, stars and sky that we share this place with.

Sit as a jewel—a jewel has many facets, many ways of seeing and responding, a jewel allows there to be complexity and empowers us to live our awakened life. In a very practical way, sitting as a jewel is a practice of appreciating your life. This embodied life. You! Only you can actualize the radiance of your inner light. Recording what you appreciate about yourself each day is a concrete way to nourish the jewel

Practice seeing the jewel of each being. Not always easy to do, but such an important aspiration. Instead of judging others (including politicians) can you let yourself appreciate something about them. Or to see beyond their views, to see them as another human being who suffers and is capable of love.

Carry your lamp, your dream for the world. Carry it into and out of the buddha hall, your workplace, your bedroom, your car, the establishments you frequent, your relationships. Get to know what helps nourish its light, and make a practice of doing one thing a day to nourish your dream for the world.

…

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Meditation Coach, Astrologer and Artist. In my Spiritual Counseling Practice, I practice at the confluence of spirituality and psychology, integrating mind, body and spirit. Spiritual Counseling can help you:

* Companion Grief + Loss

* Clarify Life Purpose

* Healing Relational Conflict + Inner Conflict

* Work with Shadow Material

* Heal your relationship with Eating, Food or Body Image

* Spiritual Emergence

* Integrate Psychedelic or Mystical Experiences

* Move Through Creative Blocks, Career Impasses and Burnout

I am trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Dream Work, Hakomi (Somatic Therapy) and Mindful Eating.

I also lead a weekly online meditation group, you can read more about below.

Monday Night Meditation + Dharma

6P PT / 9P ET

Join me on zoom for 40 minutes of meditation and a dharma talk. We are currently exploring embodiment, compassion and the principles of engaged buddhism. All are welcome to join.

Zoom Link for Monday Night

I currently live in Columbus, Ohio with my partner, we facilitate an in-person meditation gathering every Wednesday from 7P - 8:30P at ILLIO in Clintonville through Mud Lotus Sangha. If you happen to be in Columbus, feel free to stop by!

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