Modern Wisdom #1056 - Dr Paul Eastwick - Did Evolutionary Psychology Get Dating All Wrong?
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Feb 7, 2026 
Dr Paul Eastwick, psychologist and relationship scientist who challenges standard evolutionary views on mating. He questions mating-market metaphors and shows how consensus attraction fades with familiarity. He explains how meeting context, repeated exposure, compatibility, attachment, and timing shape relationships. Practical tips cover where to meet people, signals that matter, and recovering from breakups.
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Rethinking The 'Mating Market'
- Evolutionary psychology overemphasizes mate-value hierarchies, sex differences, and short-term vs long-term splits.
- Relationship science reframes mating around attachment, compatibility, and small social networks.
Consensus Fades, Compatibility Grows
- Consensus about who is ‘hot’ is strong initially but weakens as people get to know each other.
- Diverging individual tastes over time enable stable pairings beyond initial rankings.
Use Repeat-Contact Contexts
- If you don't attract attention instantly, meet people through repeat-contact contexts like classes or sports leagues.
- These settings reveal idiosyncratic appeal and create more opportunities than one-off swiping encounters.
