Inside the NARM model | Maya Vaughan | #054 Mastering Change

Many of us weren’t optimally seen, held or supported as children – and the adaptations we made to survive can quietly shape how we relate, connect and protect ourselves as adults. 

This week on Mastering Change, Maya Vaughan, Director of the Trauma Training Institute (TTI), explains the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) – a non-pathologising, relational approach to healing developmental trauma. 

Rather than focusing on diagnosis or “what’s wrong,” Maya describes NARM as “profoundly relational and non pathologizing” and “very kind of present process.” 

In a NARM session, the starting point is deceptively simple: 

“What is it you most want for yourself?” 

From there, the work follows what she calls a red thread – exploring what gets in the way of that longing by tracking what’s happening in the present moment. 

“As they see what they do to themselves, so much agency comes online.” 

If you work with developmental/relational trauma – or recognise its patterns in yourself – this conversation offers a grounded, practical lens on restoring safety, connection and self-regulation. 

We explore 

• What makes NARM different from traditional trauma models 
• Why starting with “what do you most want?” changes everything 
• How fear of attachment loss drives survival adaptations 
• Why NARM doesn’t label or pathologise 
• How agency returns through present-moment awareness 

Moment of Care: This episode discusses sensitive episodes related to trauma, mental health and distressing experiences. If you feel triggered at any point, please take a moment to check in with yourself and seek support.  

Dr. Laurence Heller, founder of NARM, releases his new book Healing Shame and Guilt on 12 May. Learn more: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/804584/healing-shame-and-guilt-by-laurence-heller-phd-and-stephan-k-niederweiser/

Watch this episode on Youtube: https://tinyurl.com/masteringchangepodcast

Follow us on instagram: www.instagram.com/masterseventsltd

Visit mastersevents.com/oxford-2026 for more details.