The Lost Girls of ADHD: Inattentive in Girls and Women

Why is inattentive ADHD so often missed, especially in girls? In this episode, Emily Kircher-Morris is joined by Cynthia Hammer, author of Living with Inattentive ADHD and founder of the Inattentive ADHD Coalition. Cynthia shares her personal journey of being diagnosed at age 49 and her late-life mission to ensure the next generation of girls doesn't have to wait decades for answers.

The two discuss the subtle clues of inattentiveness, the overlap between ADHD and autism, and how perfectionism often serves as a high-stakes masking strategy that leads to adult burnout. They also talk about the Big Sisters for ADHD Girls initiative, and the importance of early screening. It's a call to action for parents, educators, and clinicians to look past the surface and support the authentic neurodivergent self.

TAKEAWAYS

• Inattentive ADHD isn't hard to see; rather, society hasn't been trained on what to look for.

• It's been suggested that some girls begin masking as early as age three.

• While masking helps girls fit in socially, the cognitive load of playing a role often leads to severe burnout in adulthood.

• Perfectionism is frequently used as a coping mechanism to avoid the rejection sensitivity that comes with ADHD.

• There is a significant overlap between inattentive ADHD and autistic traits, particularly regarding sensory processing and social cues.

• A diagnosis provides a vital framework of self-empathy, replacing the labels of "lazy" or "unmotivated" with a biological explanation.

• Because ADHD is highly genetic, a child's diagnosis is often the first step in recognizing neurodivergence across the entire family tree.

A reminder to sign up for a live 90-minute training workshop Emily will be presenting for parents, educators, and clinicians on Wednesday, April 15, 2026 at 12:30 PM Eastern, 9:30 AM Pacific. She joins with Elizabeth Sautter to provide a neurodiversity-affirming framework that helps kids and teens build real emotional regulation and resilience without shame, pressure, or power struggles. If you can't join live, a recording will be available shortly after the presentation ends. Register here.

Cynthia Hammer, MSW is an advocate, author, and nonprofit leader dedicated to increasing awareness and understanding of Inattentive ADHD. Diagnosed at age 49 in 1992, she has spent decades working to amplify the voices of individuals whose ADHD often goes unseen and misunderstood.

Cynthia is the author of Living with Inattentive ADHD and the founder of two nonprofit organizations, ADD Resources and the Inattentive ADHD Coalition. She currently leads the FINDtheADHDgirls initiative, a project focused on identifying and supporting girls and women whose ADHD has been overlooked. Through her writing and advocacy, Cynthia continues to expand recognition and access to support for those with inattentive ADHD.

BACKGROUND READING

FINDtheADHDgirls: website, LinkedIn, LinkedIn Showcase, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, podcast. Inattentive ADHD Coalition: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. Cynthia Hammer: LinkedIn, Facebook

The Neurodiversity Podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, and you're invited to join our Facebook Group. For more information go to www.NeurodiversityPodcast.com.

If you'd like members of your organization, school district, or company to know more about the subjects discussed on our podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris provides keynote addresses, workshops, and training sessions worldwide, in-person or virtually. You can choose from a list of established presentations, or work with Emily to develop a custom talk to fit your unique situation. To learn more, visit our website.