Attention Different | Adulting with ADHD Why ADHD in Women Goes Unseen for Years with Heather DeAngelis
💡 What if your “anxiety” was never anxiety at all? What if the real story was missed for years?
In this episode, Heather DeAngelis, ADHD specialist and Columbia-trained therapist, sits down with hosts Stephen Tonti and Aaron Smith to unpack the reality of late-diagnosed ADHD in women. Drawing from both her clinical work and personal experience, Heather shares how high-functioning women are often misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression, and why many spend years trying treatments that never truly work.
Together, they explore how ADHD can hide behind perfectionism, emotional intensity, and “doing everything right” on the outside while struggling internally. Heather breaks down the connection between untreated ADHD and secondary conditions like anxiety and depression, and why treating the root cause changes everything.
✨Highlights✨
✔️ Why ADHD in women is often overlooked or misdiagnosed
✔️ How “treatment-resistant depression” may actually be undiagnosed ADHD
✔️ Why action comes before motivation for ADHD brains
✔️ The difference between talking about feelings and actually feeling them
✔️ How to regulate emotional overwhelm instead of avoiding it
✔️ Why self-trust is often the biggest missing piece in late diagnosis
“If the treatment that you're seeking for depression is not working, you may not be depressed.” —Heather DeAngelis
We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.
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