#182 - Three Phrases That Help When a Friend Is Experiencing Loss (with Shelby Forsythia)

Knowing how to show up for a friend in grief can feel overwhelming. We want to say the right thing, we don’t want to make it worse—and too often, that fear leads to silence. This episode is about finding words that help, not harm, and about staying connected when a friend’s life has been turned upside down.

In this conversation, I’m joined by grief coach and author Shelby Forsythia, whose work centers on helping people navigate loss of all kinds—not only death, but also divorce, diagnosis, estrangement, friendship breakups, and other life-altering transitions. Shelby has spent nearly a decade working with grieving people, and what she offers here is incredibly practical, compassionate, and grounding.

Rather than focusing on endless lists of “what not to say,” Shelby shares language we can use—simple, human phrases that help friendships survive the hardest moments.

Shelby's newest book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving, is written for the people who want to support grievers—friends, family members, coworkers, and anyone who finds themselves walking alongside someone in pain.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT:

• The three stories most grieving people tell themselves, and how to recognize which one your friend is living in
• Why the loss of friendships after a major loss can be just as painful as the loss itself
• How to support someone without trying to fix or reframe their grief
• Why saying the name of the person who died often feels comforting, not upsetting
• How to show up for non-death grief, including divorce, estrangement, and friendship loss
• Why it’s okay—and often necessary—to literally put “check in on my friend” in your calendar

Meet Shelby:

Shelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief coach, three time author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions.

Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.

Find Shelby: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | TikTok

 

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Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!