Where Do We Go From Here? No Hard Feelings Chat: What is the Purpose of Church During and After Deconstruction?
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Mar 20, 2026 Hosts wrestle with whether church still matters during deconstruction and share where they each stand. They debate what counts as church, from small groups and Zoom gatherings to worship music and online communities. Reasons people leave or stay are explored, including trauma, queer affirmation, relationships, and burnout. They imagine healthier, smaller, more egalitarian spiritual communities and offer practical vetting tips.
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Church Is More About Relationship Than Ritual
- Church is defined more by relational practices than building size or liturgy.
- Emily and Edie describe small groups, Zoom spiritual gatherings, and podcast green rooms as authentic forms of church community.
Leaving Felt Safer Than Staying After Trauma
- Edie left a church after sexual assault and later pretended to attend by going to stores on Sunday mornings.
- She spent months physically leaving the house to create the appearance of church attendance before finding a new congregation.
Deconstruction Changed Who Shows Up To Church
- Deconstruction has shifted church gender dynamics; women often pay higher costs for staying in patriarchal churches.
- The hosts note many women leave or seek egalitarian, female-led churches while men sometimes stay in conservative spaces.
