Goals! Goals everywhere, ladies and gentlemen. Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete are on hand for the ceremonial titling of Erling Haaland as the Earl of Goalchester. We also analyse the growing trend of south coast teams losing 9-0. Are Portsmouth next?

Elsewhere, we tip our caps to refs allowing showboating players to be cleaned out and predict where Brother Brendy will be managing at the end of the season.

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The Ramble: The Erl of Goalchester