Focus on the Family with Jim Daly Preventing Heartbreak: Strategies to Stop an Affair Before It Starts (Part 2 of 2)
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Feb 18, 2026 Gary Thomas, author and pastor who writes about Christian spirituality and marriage, explains how affairs develop and why they destroy relationships. He discusses how flattery and emotional neglect open doors, the common pathways that draw men into infidelity, and practical faith-based steps to stop temptation. He outlines the four needs that feed relationships and offers actions to rebuild long-term connection.
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Affairs Are Destructive, Not Romantic
- Gary Thomas calls affairs "murder" of a marriage and frames them as intentional moral destruction rather than romance.
- He shows how flattering comments often work by tearing down spouses to build intimacy with someone else.
Interest Beats Physical Attraction
- Men are often drawn to someone who shows interest in them more than to mere physical beauty.
- That emotional attention creates a neurochemical bond that becomes a real threat to marriage.
Interrupt The Affair Sequence Early
- Watch the progressive steps: sharing frustrations, sensing attraction, fantasizing, manipulating time, secret meetings, and intimate contact.
- Act fast at early stages by cutting off contact and "doubling down" on your marriage with counsel and accountability.
