Belonging : listener question

I just listened to your conversation with Caroline about freedom and presence. At one point you asked her „what money represents“… and I translated it inwardly for me to my issue :-)

„what having a man for me represents“…

The answers I got instantly were: 

- security

- being worthy of love

- being worthy in society

- being lovable from a society point of view (look at me I made it)

- being „normal“

- belonging to my „tribe“

I know that it is conditioning and beliefs… that a man does not give me security (rather the contrary, the men in my life made me highly insecure), I know that I am lovable from my female friends,… 

But I was thinking it would be great if you could talk a bit in WANT or in a podcast about wanting to belong, and not to be outstanding… I have the same issue with being happy, it feels dangerous to me because I do not belong anymore if I am too happy… 

I very much love everything you say and I am so grateful for your presence in my life