A New Way of Being Escape the Demon of Approval
Apr 21, 2026
They explore how seeking approval from others can masquerade as love and shape our lives from childhood. The conversation highlights the costs of approval, like people-pleasing and staying small. Listeners are guided to notice bodily reactions, feel discomfort, and practice acting from inner truth. The payoff described is greater freedom, bolder choices, and love without demands.
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Recognise Approval Is Not Love
- See that seeking approval is different from love and that this confusion runs deep from childhood.
- Simon Mundie explains the me mind personalises praise/shame early, creating lifelong approval-seeking patterns you must first notice.
Toddler Example Shows How Approval Shapes Identity
- A two-year-old response showed how praise creates identity and criticism creates shame.
- Simon Mundie recounts his daughter becoming elated when praised for tidying and shrinking when told not to throw a ball near a mirror.
Approval Addiction Breaks Unconditional Love
- Being hooked on approval prevents unconditional love because it makes affection conditional on praise.
- Simon Mundie links this dynamic to codependency, explaining we 'use' others when we need their approval to feel okay.