The Happiness Podcast 35 - Perfect Love
Jan 8, 2020
A meditation on true love versus craving, exploring how dependency and expectations destroy connection. Reflections on inner searching and how longing and cultural programming shape suffering. A look at desire, ambition, and how needing someone creates fear rather than freedom.
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Love Comes From Within Not From Bargains
- Love is found inside you, not in soothing loneliness or bargaining with others.
- Anthony de Mello argues that seeking fulfillment externally turns love into a market exchange and fails to reveal true love.
Love Is Enjoyment Not Needy Desire
- Desire and love are distinct: genuine love coexists with enjoyment, not neediness or craving.
- De Mello contrasts enjoying someone fully while being 'too full to need' them with craving that causes sorrow.
Sorrow Roots In Wanting Happiness To Depend On Things
- The Buddha taught sorrow springs from desire whose fulfillment we link to our happiness.
- De Mello reframes desire as dependence: desire that makes happiness contingent causes suffering, not all wanting.